Be vulnerable; not closed off

Do-Not-Let-The-World-Make-You-Hard

It seems that whenever we’re down and out; right smack dab in the middle of having our hearts broken in one way or another we tend to want to close ourselves off. It seems like the most logical option. If we don’t open up; we can’t possibly feel this hurt right? Not particularly. Those of us who can be and are possibly by nature “vulnerable” with others tend to have amazing connections; the flip side to that is that we also endure painful heartbreak. When you love so big you risk hurting big too. Being vulnerable means that we show us as our authentic selves, we share stories about our lives, we take the walls down and look for the best in every person. It is amazing when a vulnerable person finds someone who sees our unique spark and decides to nurture the relationship. It is also NOT so amazing when a vulnerable person finds a manipulative or emotionally closed off person.

Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness

As us vulnerable people go through life; there will be people who will appreciate and nurture us for who we are and we will make some of the most amazing connections with people. Will there be times when we want to close ourselves off thinking that is the solution to not getting hurt? Absolutely. Is that the correct approach? Absolutely not. Do not dare change or mold yourself to fit in with people who are too uncomfortable with you being open. Do not close off part of who you intrinsically are; it’s the worst thing you could possibly do.

Keep opening up and loving and being beautiful you! The right people will appreciate and love you for who you are. Period.

Hugs and Loves,

Wishes for the Soul

Tianna Leigh

That One Time I Saw 50 Shades of Grey in the theatre…alone

if-you-want-something-go-get-it-period-

This is for my friend Amy… 😉

As I reflect back on my twenties in particular; I can see and have been told by some lifelong friends that I have grown SO much! Apparently, there was once upon a time that I wouldn’t even go to Target by myself! That makes me want to die laughing now. I do most things alone these days and actually prefer it; I am the epitome of the independent woman. I’ve learned over time that if you want to do something, have something, be something…you better get off your ass and actually DO something about it. You can’t sit around waiting on other people to hold your hand. Let me share a personal story to paint the picture of what I mean…

I was tempted to lay around on a Sunday afternoon but then decided I’ve been wanting to see the 50 Shades of Grey movie, but had been waiting until someone could go with me. I pondered it but going to the movies, alone? Plus this isn’t just ANY movie if ya know what I mean. I went to AMC.com and almost purchased a ticket for myself and then backed out. A couple hours later I said screw it, I’m going to the movie by myself because I WANT to! I couldn’t think of anyone to accompany me so why should I have to wait any longer? I was all proud of myself. Then I realized, I’m going to see practically a porno… in person… at a theatre… by myself. It made me giggle but at the same time made me feel empowered. The moral of the story is that I wanted to do something, so I made it happen. Of course as soon as I purchase my ticket, a friend reaches out to ask if I want to see the movie and I’m like, well yes of course but at the same point I was going to be so vindicated that I went alone. HA HA! It gets better! I have to call to get a refund for the showtime I originally bought. I have to CALL and then the customer service representative repeats it out loud….”okay. refunding ONE for 50 SHADES OF GREY at 245pm” …yes, that’s right lady! HA! Anyway the moral of the story is that if you want to do something, big or small, you go do it! Maybe a friend will join you last minute, but then again, maybe not. A party of one can be one of the most awesome times! You should enjoy spending time alone.

So, in order to get from the girl who wouldn’t go to Target by herself to the girl who would go see the 50 Shades of Grey movie alone…it takes a lot of twists and turns, fails and falls but I guess I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I like, no I LOVE this Tianna and I think I’ll just keep getting better with age. 😉

Have you done anything on your own as a woman that made you feel proud of yourself for going it alone?!

Hugs and Loves,

Wishes for the Soul

Tianna Leigh

What to do when you just want to give up

d130c595b75a0cd00542acd7cb4735bc

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

That’s exactly how you feel sometimes. You just want to scream, yell and throw yourself on the ground…but let’s face it…you’re in public and you’re no longer a toddler. Damn! Well…it sounds like you may be going through something and although I may not be 100% in your situation…I get what you’re feeling. You simply want to understand the purpose of it all. You simply want to understand why you have to go through so much. You’re simply…exhausted. Anytime you get a little “too” happy or content; life says “Ah ah ah…don’t get too comfortable…” and BAM just like that you’re down in the dirt…again.

When you simply just want to give up…DON’T! Think about all those valleys you’ve already been through and what a strong and courageous person you’ve become because of it. Think about all those loved ones you’ve helped through your wisdom. A friend once told me “Pain is power” and I believe that to be true. Once you’ve felt a particular pain, you can relate to others with similar struggles. Once you’ve made a mistake; you’ll do anything not to make the same mistake again. Although, some of us like to learn lessons more than once apparently. 😉 (Actually, if you’re being brought to a similar situation over and over; it’s simply because you’re NOT learning the lesson. Ouch…that sucks to hear, but it’s true.) Think of all those times you’ve wondered “Am I ever going to get through this?” “Will it ever stop hurting?” “Will I ever be happy again?” I’ll tell you the answer to all three of those questions is…YES! An astounding big ass YES! Of course you will. There’s a catch though….

YOU have to feel the pain, YOU have to cry the tears. YOU have to feel the heartache. YOU have to feel confused. YOU have to feel sad. YOU have to feel it ALL. It’s okay to cry and grieve and even scream and cry. It’s all part of the healing process. I know you want to know why someone would hurt you or walk away from you and I don’t have those answers, but I do know that YOU have the choice to pick up the pieces and start over again. As hard as the journey will be; you’ll become more of who you are because of it. You’ll have even more perspective before this situation. You’ll learn. You’ll grow. You’ll even smile, laugh and look back at this with gratitude some day. That some day may not be today, or tomorrow but it WILL come.

When you feel like giving up…DON’T! Sometimes you’re going to have bad days; even bad weeks or months, but every day you get through is closer to healing whatever pain you’re currently enduring. Every morning you wake up; start anew. Do WHATEVER it takes to make sure you’re supported throughout this journey. A lot of people love you and want to be there for you. A lot of people probably even look up to you BECAUSE of everything you’ve already endured. GO YOU! It doesn’t matter what you do; don’t give up. Keep making small successes until you reach your happy place again.

Sending lots of hugs and loves,

Tianna Leigh

Wishes for the Soul

My experience at Mastin Kipp’s “Growing Into Grace” book tour in Phoenix, AZ

10670147_10202679964460400_2661676639903123847_n

 Mastin Kipp and Tianna Leigh at the “Growing into Grace” book tour in Phoenix, AZ

If you know me, you know I’m a huge “Daily Lover”; meaning I’ve been following/reading Mastin Kipp’s “The Daily Love” for years. I’m also happy to say I’ve been able to turn on a few good friends to following The Daily Love as well and they are ever so thankful! 🙂 Daily Lovers unite!

On March 1, 2014, Mastin, the love of his life Jenna and team had come to Phoenix, AZ for the “Enter the Heart tour”. Naturally; I blogged about it and Mastin even featured it on The Daily Love blog shortly after. Needless to say that was a HUGE honor and validation that the Universe is giving me huge signs that pursuing my writing passion is my key to happiness and living a truly fulfilled life.

Mastin completed his first book “Growing into Grace” and has been on a book tour ever since. On Monday, October 6th his tour stopped in Phoenix, AZ. The event was full of vibrant energy and like-minded people and Mastin speaking some straight truth to the audience. It was awesome! Part of the event we were asked to write down some “Why did this happen to me?” moments and then Mastin workshopped with us in order for us to see the “grace” in those situations. We were asked to partner up with someone near us and I partnered up with a nice gentleman. (In fact this gentleman was one of the attendees who raised their hand when Mastin asked “Okay, honestly who was drug here by a friend or family member?!”) The situation he presented as his “why did this happen to me” moment was very “surface” so you can imagine his surprise when my sharing was very deep. Part of me wanted to hesitate and downplay my sharing but I thought…what the heck?! I shared the story of how my mother committed suicide by hand gun while I was in the very next bedroom and to my ultimate surprise this gentleman said “wow, my mom committed suicide by gun as well when I was 11, but I wasn’t in the house.” I then told him “You realize there’s no accident that you sat next to me, right? What are the chances that two strangers would sit next to one another and share a very similar tragic story?” He was in awe. In fact he said “That’s not a story I share very often.” I told him “There’s a lot of power in sharing our stories; thank you for sharing with me and I hope you now know; you’re not alone.”

Once again, you should have seen the look on his face. For someone who was at a Mastin Kipp event not knowing what he was getting into; I think it was a powerful moment we shared. It was such an amazing and serendipitous moment. Once again, even more validation that pain is power and sharing our stories with one another can make a huge difference.

Thank you to Mastin for creating such a powerful environment and for your entire journey thus far. I’m definitely a “love bug” and Mastin called us at the event and I look forward to touching many people’s lives, just as you have!

Now go buy your own copy of “Growing into Grace” ~ you won’t regret it! I look forward to seeing you again in the future Mastin!

Hugs and Loves,

Wishes for the Soul

Tianna Leigh

 

Advice for brand new college students

935870_10151779112199841_33231136_n

 

Dear Brand new college student,

You’ve just embarked on a brand new chapter of your life. For some of you; it’s your very first real taste of freedom as an “adult.” I’m sure it’s invigorating, exciting and a bit scary all at the same time. I can remember my first days at The University of Arizona being in classes with 200 other students and thinking, well this is definitely not high school anymore! Ha! As you start this new journey here’s some advice from me to you:

1) Enjoy each and every experience; yes even dorm living, especially during your freshman year of college. You may think 4 years is a long time, but trust me it goes by in a blink.

2) Be open to meeting new people. People travel from all over to attend colleges. You could meet some of your lifelong friends during your college years.

3) Make your school work a priority. I know it’s not always going to be fun or liberating, but you won’t always be a student so be the best student you can be. It’ll be worth it.

4) Get involved with as many clubs etc. that you can. The more involved you are; the more you’ll meet new people and also get to know yourself better in the process.

5) Enjoy eating all the Chik Fil A, McDonalds and whatever other “healthy” options they have on campus. There will come a day when you simply can’t eat that stuff without putting on some pounds.

6) Have fun and party! College parties are tons of fun and are definitely part of the college experience. Please just be careful and cautious; not every single person you meet will have your best interest at heart.

7) Keep in touch with your high school friends; I’m sure they’ll have stories to share of their college experiences as well.

8) Stay in touch with your family and don’t forget your roots. Your family is overjoyed for you during this time of your life, but they also want to be a part of it too!

9) Don’t get tied up in a relationship. This is the best time of your life to explore and discover who you are. You will have your whole life to be dedicated to a relationship. Take this time for you and only you. You deserve this time.

10) There may come a time where you may feel like giving up on this whole college thing. Don’t! 4 years is such a short time of your life to dedicate to yourself.

The moral of the story is that this is going to be one of the most fun, challenging, sometimes confusing yet awesome times of your life. Take it all in. Believe in yourself every step of the way. There are people in your corner rooting for you!

Wishing you much success,

Tianna Leigh

Wishes for the Soul

Dedicated to my little sis: Jenna Orozco, freshman at Northern Arizona University

 

Reasons to love being a single woman

69782_368196629928694_205864883_n

 

It really makes me sad that so many women think being “single” is the most terrible thing in the world. Whether it’s society, your family, your age or your desire to have children; there always seem to be factors pushing you into a relationship. Because of all the pressure others put on us (intentionally or not) so many women dive into relationships, marriages and babies with the wrong people all to do “what’s expected.” When I was in my 20’s I can’t tell you how many times I heard “you have plenty of time!” At the time I wish I really believed what people were saying but of course, I didn’t and had to make my own mistakes in order to really get it through my head. I’m sure you can relate. 😉

Luckily, through a lot of trial and error; my entire mindset on being single has drastically changed. I now understand that you must learn to know and LOVE yourself BEFORE you can attempt to be in a healthy relationship. Wanna know a secret? Getting to know yourself is actually tons of fun. I have lots to share on the topic and plan on sharing more in the coming weeks but let’s start with some reasons to embrace and actually love being single:

1) First of all, you’re obviously not settling because you’re single so kudos to you! Single > Settling

2) You have all the time in the world to expand your social circle or nurture the friendships you already have

3) You have all the time and freedom to take that class or try that activity you’ve been putting off

4) You can have a dance party in your house or bedroom (in your underwear if you should so choose!)

5) You can call, text and email ANYONE you want

6) You can stay in or go out on the weekend

7) You don’t have to tolerate having people around that you don’t want (i.e. his annoying friends)

8) Instead of one date night; you could have seven! Ha!

9) You can have male friends without any grief

10) You have time to read – fill your mind with positive messages; I highly recommend Mandy Hale’s “The Single Woman” or “I’ve Never Been to Vegas but my Luggage Has

11) You can adopt a pet

12) You can blare any music of your choice throughout your house as you’re getting ready

13) You can travel

14) You can feel content in knowing that you can take care of yourself

15) You can marathon shows of your choice

16) You can continue getting to know yourself and that my dears is the beginning of a lifelong relationship that never ends!

17) You can take care of yourself; financially and emotionally; no one can compete with that

18) You can spend the holidays wherever you choose without other obligations

19) You can learn to be comfortable in your own skin; if you’re not already

20) You can see all the chick flicks you want!

I feel like I could go on and on, but the reality is that being a single woman is kind of awesome! To have complete autonomy over your life is a beautiful thing! You just never know what or who is around the corner. You could meet “him” next week and your whole life will change from that moment on, so why not enjoy the now? The now is where the magic happens. Love yourself enough to hold out for the right time and the right person. You’ll most definitely realize what’s meant to be will always find a way and in the meantime you should just enjoy being awesome YOU!

Hugs and Loves,

Tianna Leigh

Wishes for the Soul

 

 

10 tips on how to be a strong and empowered woman

3ad5209a7d42331a3b3c7ebdec075a52

 

Women empowering other women is a beautiful and powerful thing.

This week’s blog includes tips on how to be a strong and empowered woman!

1) Learn to not only like yourself, but learn to love yourself. It’s crucial that you learn to focus on all of your awesomeness and stop beating yourself up! You’ve got to be your biggest advocate. If you don’t like yourself how can you expect anyone else to?

2) Spend time alone. A woman who can spend time alone and actually enjoy it; is a strong and mature woman. Alone time is sometimes the best time! You get to do whatever YOU want.

3) Be a good friend. Women need support systems to get through the tough times. Nurture your friendships.

4) Speak your truth. Sometimes you’re going to have to have some tough conversations with the people you love, but that’s how you connect on a deeper level.

5) Do what feels right. Sometimes women get wrapped up in what the right or wrong decision is. Just follow your heart and intuition. If it feels right; it probably is. If it feels wrong; run!

6) Pursue your passion. You are unique and have skills that are yours and yours alone. No one can speak the words on your heart and no one can do exactly what you can. Go do what makes you happy. Find your purpose.

7) Learn to say no. No is a complete sentence. As women we are pleasers and have a hard time saying no, but it’s important to learn how to be okay with saying no. Whether something simply doesn’t serve you or you simply don’t have the time or energy to do something; it’s okay to say no. This leaves you open to a lot more “yeses” to the things that you love.

8) Don’t get lost in a relationship. We can all relate to this one. You’re in a relationship and everything feels so good that sometimes you can forget to pursue the things that you did before this person came along. This is especially important when it comes to your relationships outside of your romantic relationship.

9) Maintain your own accounts (checking, savings, cell phone, insurance etc.). Sometimes it seems like a good idea to combine things, but it’s important and pretty empowering to maintain your independence.

10) Watch and read positive things. Garbage in = garbage out. Fill your mind with positive and uplifting messages that serve you. Be aware of WHO you are listening to.

Once you love yourself; you’re unstoppable

Hugs and Loves,

Tianna Leigh

Wishes for the Soul

This blog is featured on the Le Boudoir Studio blog