That’s exactly how you feel sometimes. You just want to scream, yell and throw yourself on the ground…but let’s face it…you’re in public and you’re no longer a toddler. Damn! Well…it sounds like you may be going through something and although I may not be 100% in your situation…I get what you’re feeling. You simply want to understand the purpose of it all. You simply want to understand why you have to go through so much. You’re simply…exhausted. Anytime you get a little “too” happy or content; life says “Ah ah ah…don’t get too comfortable…” and BAM just like that you’re down in the dirt…again.
When you simply just want to give up…DON’T! Think about all those valleys you’ve already been through and what a strong and courageous person you’ve become because of it. Think about all those loved ones you’ve helped through your wisdom. A friend once told me “Pain is power” and I believe that to be true. Once you’ve felt a particular pain, you can relate to others with similar struggles. Once you’ve made a mistake; you’ll do anything not to make the same mistake again. Although, some of us like to learn lessons more than once apparently. 😉 (Actually, if you’re being brought to a similar situation over and over; it’s simply because you’re NOT learning the lesson. Ouch…that sucks to hear, but it’s true.) Think of all those times you’ve wondered “Am I ever going to get through this?” “Will it ever stop hurting?” “Will I ever be happy again?” I’ll tell you the answer to all three of those questions is…YES! An astounding big ass YES! Of course you will. There’s a catch though….
YOU have to feel the pain, YOU have to cry the tears. YOU have to feel the heartache. YOU have to feel confused. YOU have to feel sad. YOU have to feel it ALL. It’s okay to cry and grieve and even scream and cry. It’s all part of the healing process. I know you want to know why someone would hurt you or walk away from you and I don’t have those answers, but I do know that YOU have the choice to pick up the pieces and start over again. As hard as the journey will be; you’ll become more of who you are because of it. You’ll have even more perspective before this situation. You’ll learn. You’ll grow. You’ll even smile, laugh and look back at this with gratitude some day. That some day may not be today, or tomorrow but it WILL come.
When you feel like giving up…DON’T! Sometimes you’re going to have bad days; even bad weeks or months, but every day you get through is closer to healing whatever pain you’re currently enduring. Every morning you wake up; start anew. Do WHATEVER it takes to make sure you’re supported throughout this journey. A lot of people love you and want to be there for you. A lot of people probably even look up to you BECAUSE of everything you’ve already endured. GO YOU! It doesn’t matter what you do; don’t give up. Keep making small successes until you reach your happy place again.
Sending lots of hugs and loves,
Wishes for the Soul